Between Fantasy and Reality

The line is near indistinguishable. Well, to someone who regularly uses the computer anyway.

Yet, sometimes it's what we observe that brings us back down to reality.

Fantasy no more.

Just yesterday [which was really nicely, an early release day, which in the end I realized almost all schools in Singapore had early releases/did not have lessons] I was waiting for my friend to finish up some stuffs.

I went over to check what was going on, since there wasn't much to do already, other than wait to go home. I saw him discussing some stuffs with another buddy of mine, then I peered over what they were actually doing.

They were planning out what to do during the whole of the June holidays. Now, the activities planned was just one thing - studies. I was staring at the whole calendar being filled with what to revise, what to do. Then my friend mentioned he had tuition at some times as well.

This was where some things struck me in the head, almost like an arrow piercing through.

The other 2 of us went into "shock mode", commenting that having so much stuff going on during the holidays would literally kill him [cause it's nearly all studying]. The planning then went on, with the whole syllabus filled up within the mere 30 days.

It was what I saw my friend trying to do that really gave me motivation and inspiration. I understood how important the coming exams would be, but I never did bother [for some reason or another] until now. It's time for some over drive here, 'whacky'.

That nickname would really come into place once I begin my studies in this holidays, which I have decided to do. I think that if I never saw what my friend was planning, I would never have gotten this upbeat about studying, more likely to have gamed throughout and studied in the last week.

Now that all these has occurred, it's time for events to start unfolding. Take action.

*The following list is for my own reference, you can skip this whole portion if you wish [BUT I KNOW YOU WILL! HAHA!]*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long overdue work to be done - Which can already kill me
In no order of priority [I suppose]
1) Galvanic Cell
2) Electrolytic Cell
3) Reaction Kinetics
4) Chemical Periodicity
5) Transition Elements
6) Group II
7) Group VII

8) P & C, Probability
9) Binomial, Poisson Distributions
10) Normal Distributions
11) Sampling
12) Hypothesis Testing
13) Regression, Correlation

14) Quantum Physics

To Study - Which I know will most likely be the one most draining part
1) Every single Maths book
2) The whole syllabus for Chemistry
3) Econs syllabus [which is HUGE!]
4) Physics [Luckily I took H1 ._.] and more crucially,
5) GP [I wonder how I'll study this]

As Means of Self-Practice
1) Attempt [or if possible, complete] the Maths revision book I was given [WATCH ME!]
2) Complete the whole Chem TYS [I regret not buying the other one...]
3) Complete Physics TYS [But... Mr. Tan hasn't told us which qns not to attempt!]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I do regret one thing: Not finishing up my homework for tutorials ._.

Now that revision mode is near to switching on, I'm so gonna die from the large content to revise.

A target set, but is it too ambitious? We'll see in a matter of 1 month. Once written, not going to edit. I wonder how much I can achieve in a day of studying?

To change what I've been doing is hard, to not change what I'm doing now and fall from fantasy to reality when I receive poor results is even harder.

A path is chosen, it's time to walk down this winding path. I cannot see an end yet, it's too far away...

-signs off-

Being a Host - Seoul Students Immersion Programme (II)

Ah... a very sudden sms that came to me from a teacher, asking for "5 student helpers to act as hosts to the students, with good knowledge of business units in the college" sparked off everything.

Prelude
Firstly, the sms came only 3 hours before the actual event started, so it did create some problems in getting helpers within such a short time.

Secondly, us, being the J2s, were supposed to have stepped down from our duties in our CCAs. This was really... out of what we planned to have. Well not that I mind helping, but it's nice to return home early like on a Wednesday [days I have CCA] for once, you know?

Thirdly, all J1s were actually involved in their own PW lectures during the period of time that the hosting would take place! Now what is that?! In the end... all of the helpers were J2s. >.>

I was, obviously, one of those who went to host, if not I wouldn't even be making this post already!

The Hosting
But anyway, at first glance, they looked like really great people to host. Of course that was what I was hoping as well. We, as hosts, don't want to be a bad one, and wish to get the cooperation of the people we're hosting.

Initially, I was paired up with another of my friends to lead one group [like...30 or so?]. Then I was split up! =( I had to go lead a group all by myself, while that friend of mine actually had another partner...

I was prepared to handle 'em though, been used to some of this situations.

What I was going to get was... pretty unexpected, I must say! Instead of leading a large group of females, I ended up leading a majority-males group! And all by myself O_O! I hoped it would all go smoothly of course.

And sure it did! The students were actually very cooperative, some even speaking to me! It's nice to interact with people from other countries once in a while! Although they were very active, jumping around non stop while I was leading them, they were overall very disciplined ~.~

But... my group was really funny in terms of numbers. First I started off at 30, then after the 2nd stop, it went to 20+, and then I was left with around 15-20 at the end of the whole thing! LOL! Then I realized they got lost and mixed into another group... At least they all returned to the same gathering spot again, I cannot bear any missing students =x.

Then came the last stop - ICE CREAM! YEAH~ [I was treated to one too~ woohoo! Benefits of being a host, eh? ;)] They all enjoyed it of course, but my hosting didn't really end there...

A... Finale?
Just when I thought everything was over, I noticed 2 girls that were actually still not up at the assembling area - One of them lost a gray jacket with a hood.

Whoa, now this is bad. First, it's not nice to lose things. Second, they wouldn't be returning to the college after today. The urgency of the matter was pretty high actually. Considering if they can't find it, they won't be able to forever, it was totally important.

And I got on my way to search the most probable areas - wherever they visited. Nothing came out from the search.

I actually thought that I had to pass the bad news to the girl, but just as I was walking towards them, to the left of me, lying on the table, was a mysterious woolen looking item.

Stepping forward and checking if it really fitted the description the girl provided, I realized it was most likely hers. Might as well give it a try right? So I walked towards her, holding the jacket in my hand, raising it up to catch her attention.

The moment she saw it, she went from sorrow to complete happiness ~.~ . It was nice to see someone being so happy, I felt it as well. She thanked me quite a few times, and of course I really appreciated it. And it all happened just before the Seoul students were leaving already! Definitely worth the effort to have to run around to find it.

An embarrassing moment
In the midst of all the happiness of the girl managing to find her jacket, I totally didn't realize something until my teacher IC beside me told me.

Just as everyone was walking towards the bus already, my teacher actually told me that when I returned the jacket, one of the Seoul teachers wanted to shake my hand! BUT I completely never realized that was happening. He was actually standing to my right, and my focus wasn't there when he stretched out his hand, planning to shake mine.

I actually walked around him with his hand stretched out! DAMN! It was such an embarrassing thing that happened ><.

Luckily though, the teacher hadn't walked too far. I immediately ran up to him and gave him a nice handshake, first apologizing, then thanking him. It's interesting actually, to shake hands with a teacher from another country. [Rare opportunity for me!]

What I do regret though, were the following few things:
1) Not actually speaking to the Seoul students
2) Not asking them [the students] to teach me some Korean language while they were free
3) Not shaking hands with the principal of the school involved [Hey, it's something I really wanted to do you know!]

Oh and one last thing: If they were Japanese students I would actually be totally willing to help out :P.

So oh well, this ends JJ's hosting of the Seoul Global High School students, though they're leaving only on Sunday. It was a great experience having them, even though we had only very short chats. I hope I was at the least, a good host to them x)

-signs off-

The Last Dance - Seoul Students Immersion Programme (I)

My topic says it all.

Interesting Hall Civics I must say! It was a totally surprising one for me.

Starting off as a very draggy day, I was not looking forward to this period at all.

"Oh, some Korean students are here and they have some things prepared for us," was what one of my tutors mentioned. Although it sounded really interesting, I just wasn't in the mood today. Sure I like this kind of stuff, it's great for cultural exchange and all, but I was way too bothered by the draggy day that I was even planning to skip the lesson.

At least I didn't though, and boy was it an enjoyable lesson!

Starting off with bangs and all made the whole session upbeat. Everyone was already waiting for what was coming next.

...and then came the dances. First traditional, then the more modern ones. The modern ones were... very interesting I must say!

The females performance was not bad, with all the sleek, sexy moves to entice males to give wolf howls =p. Obviously some couldn't resist the urge to, and I think my eyes never left focus from the dancers even once... OOPS! LOL xD

Then came the male performance....

Never in my school life have I actually seen a performance where a dancer stripped right in front of my eyes! LOL =x

Okay that's beside the point, but I found this male dancer's courage very admirable, and I applaud him for that.

You can imagine it, the whole hall [including tutors] actually went wild when he suddenly took off the last shirt he had on xD! I wasn't spared from this wildness. I went "OH MY GOD?! HE DIDN'T JUST DO THAT! WHOA!"

His dance [along with the group] was great though. Too bad there was that one dancer who forgot his moves x).

Ending off the whole thing with that last dance was both impacting and interesting. [I never knew "impactful" doesn't exist in the dictionary!] It's the last hall civics lesson we would have as J2s, and I must say it was a great way to end it off.

Now, as the term comes to an end, with the last 3 days in sight, I wonder if there's going to be any other surprises coming up for me?

-signs off-

Reflections VI - Imbalance Leads to Nowhere Good...

Oho. Been 4 days since I actually posted on my blog! Been "testing" out the new stuff in Maple.

Today's topic is on "imbalance". What does it mean to all of us actually?

People always say "balance work and play". Riiiiiiight. Balance that, huh? First I think I have to place my POV as a student, and realize that work is PRESSING currently. I need to get down to it... soon. [Procrastination alert!]

From a POV as a gamer, obviously work can come "later", gaming comes first.

That's where imbalance strikes in.

I noticed that my eyes are not suited to staring at the screen for a long period of time at... certain things, interestingly [no, not porn, so don't go haywire people]. Most likely cause I'm stressing it too much, or I've been too tired [not enough sleep, as always]

It's like my eyes go more blurry now, than before at close screen. This is a big signal to me, one that an avid gamer is somewhat ignoring.

Imbalance... doing no work and all play. That's what I'm doing for now. Come June, it's going to be heck of a schedule to meet. 4 weeks, eh? Great time to test how well I can push myself for studying once again.

Yet, doing all work means that you're stressing your brain too much. That leads to easy tiredness, headaches etc. So what is balance to me now?? I question myself this, and I have no reply for it.

Balance is unachievable. Take balance to be the other synonyms, like "equilibrium". How do you get yourself into equilibrium? That's never possible. You'll always do an excess of one thing over the other.

Being in this world is crazy. Everything you do is to strive for imbalance, to aim for something equal is... very difficult, if not impossible. You communicate with lots of friends, yet leave a few out. That's imbalance in its true nature. You neglect one thing in front of your eyes and turn your head away to focus on another.

If you found that previous lines offensive, I'm actually, not very surprised, at all. Being from my POV, I see things from interesting perspectives. It's the difference between what everyone sees that relates to 'balance'. Yet what one takes as 'balance' is complete 'imbalance' to another.

Confusing? Erase it from your head. I'm typing this with slightly blurry eyes, and what I type is normally... hard to understand for others, but it's child's play to me [obviously, cause I'm typing it!]

It's time for severe imbalance in my life to come to an utter stop. The holidays... is going to be a rampage.

-signs off-

-Fatigue- -Lethargy-

Totally. I totally regret what I did -.-

Like, sleeping at 2am when I had to go college at 7? That totally killed my day throughout. Starting off with some slight energy, slowly depleting all the way to total sleepiness >_>!

During my Physics lesson I was like struggling to keep awake that I totally didn't catch what my tutor was saying. LOL! So in the end I had to keep using water squirts from my bottle to keep me awake. Luckily there was a break half way into the lesson, or I think I would have just slept already.

Just as expected, the moment I returned home I took a "nap" - that lasted 3 hours. But at least I woke up in time for American Idol xD!

Anyway, it's 1+ again! I should go sleep... although I think the nap I took was too long. Having too much energy in me currently. Hope I can drift off to dream land...

-signs off-

The Curtain Draws to a Closure...

and Kris was the winner.

That actually took me by surprise a little, cause his performance wasn't too desirable for the finals ><. But still, congratulations Kris! =)

Currently watching AI on TV actually, and Adam looks like a black winged angel =x. Rocker man!

I believe that the Top 5 are going to have quite a successful career in singing! Best season of AI ever. It's interesting to see so much talent this season!

A 2 hour finale to draw everything to an end. That's what I call a blast :o! Hoping to see the next batch, and of course lets hope that they are equally or better than this batch of idols ;)

-signs off-

"Triple Posting"!

Ahaha, watching American Idol now.


First Round
First round over, Kris gets a supporting vote from Simon Cowell! Woo~

[supports Kris Allen]

I'm hoping he wins! [and my apostrophe is working..again?]

2 more rounds to go, let's see! Oh and this doesn't mean I'm not supporting Adam ;) He's a great singer too, with an uber powerful voice I don't think I can ever achieve =x. But I like Kris better xD!

Second Round
OMG O_O Adam's and his powerful voice coupled with the song was MADNESS! COOL MAN!

"What's Going On" - Kris sang it using his guitar and... there's lots of criticisms this time! O_O sadded~ oh well.

That's 2nd round down, the final round to go!

Third Round
XD The crowd went so high with Adam's song! Worldwide star from Simon Cowell! Nice =)

And now, Kris Allen's last song... THE SAME SONG?! :o This will be interesting!

So both sang "No Boundaries". The song's so beautiful =D.

huhu, judges all saying that the song was too high for him x_X. That was... a little obvious, considering how much he was straining his voice to reach the notes =(

So, 1 more day before the results are announced [for S'pore] or just a matter of few hours for those in US! Who will win?! We'll see...

Ah! "Home Sweet Home" by Carrie Underwood to end the competition. It fits! Lovely...

-signs off-

An Avid Gamer's Confession

While watching Dont Forget the Lyrics [my apostrophe is screwed up again!], Im going to make this blog post.

Considering the title, it is on gaming. Not interested in gaming stuff? This post wouldnt be for you then.

So now, me being me, ever since I got my hands on a computer, I have been playing with lots of MMORPGs. Of course before the MMO era, I was playing some other games... Load Runner anyone? =) I totally loved that game.

That isnt the main point of my post, though. What I want to say is this: the first MMORPG I played seems to be the one I can never let go of.

Regardless of how long I have played it, and no matter how many times I left the game, I do return to the game. Of course, returning to the game doesnt mean that I stuck with it forever. The introduction of many other games diverted my attention from it. That meant that I did return to the game, albeit only for a very short time. However, with whats coming up in 2 hours time, it may very well just get me back, once more.

Figures. Me, being an avid gamer, gets attracted to big stuff. Especially if the patch [additional gaming data added into the game folder] is HUGE, it makes me look forward to what I can get from playing after its done. And this patch, from 2300 today till 0600 tomorrow, is going to be really huge. I actually got the patch data before the patch itself! XD

So whats the game? Its......

Maplestory [Season 2, but its still the same game -.-]

And when people read to this point, some will be like "WHAT?! YOU SO OLD STILL PLAY SUCH A KIDDY GAME?!" - Natural reaction, I must say. Actually, I aint surprised if like more than half [I just realized my slash key is screwed up too] have that reaction I stated above.

First, I will explain myself. Yes, its a game, with kiddish graphics. No, I think games have no age boundaries. Aunties and uncles play this game too! XD. Okay that isnt the point but heck. What I can remember about this game is... vague.

However, with the next patch, this can actually change. The patch size was ~200MB, significantly huge, obviously with lots of data added. Thing is, it was the patch information that was revealed that totally caught my attention, and will definitely bring me back to playing.

Lets take a look at the patch notes.......no, its too long a list. I will just give you the link to take a look xD!
>>>>http://maple.asiasoftsea.net/news_events/view/patch_notes_for_version_072/<<<<

I have played this game to the point that I went head over heels over it, spending cash [luckily, not as serious as some may think, but its still a pretty considerable sum], buying IN GAME CURRENCY [why was I so stupid to do so?] and so on.

And obviously, as time passes, you get bored of things. Its like the saying "gone with the old, in with the new". Pretty true, since I actually quit for like half to a year [was it that long? I forgot.]

Then I returned for like 4 hours after one patch to check out new stuff, and this stopped after a while. But now, considering the SIZE of the patch, plus the DETAILS of the patch, this is going to keep me busy for a while, while waiting for Grand Chase to open up. [LOL! Its as if Im just using it to whittle my time]

Then the lecture comes, saying that I should study for common test blah blah blah...

Self control. Self control. Its not that hard actually, you know? ;) I doubt I will actually get into addiction again, and time management is going to be really interesting here.

So now, lots of words, lots of talking, all over Maplestory. Actually I still aint to interested in it, but I know that the patch is large enough to get me to start a character all over again. [FYI, I took quite some time to get my character to... 121? Thats a crazy level, and some crazy amount of time spent, or is that wasted?]

When tomorrow dawns, I can only look forward to entering the game to see whats new xD. Thats pretty much about it. With the large amount of stuff, I think I can be stuck for some time...

Oh well, enough from me about this game. Will post some OTHER games that I have, and still am playing as a past time in future.

-signs off-

uh...oops?

Seems like I just followed MYSELF! I was wondering how the following function worked, in the end I clicked on "follow" and now I'm following myself x). Feels like a shadow that's chasing me around!

Anyway, damn! There's a Final Fantasy Concert coming Friday, but I didn't buy the tickets. Was hesitating, but it's too late now. All the tickets were sold before the sales went public! This shows how hot the concert is ;)

Even better, Nobuo Uematsu is coming to Singapore for the concert! I feel like I'm missing out on so many stuffs.

Anyway, today will be a multiple post day. Not the first time I'm doing it, but... when you see one of my posts I think you'll either 1) get a shock 2) laugh and start asking me questions the next day you see me or 3) both. Or you may possibly not do any of the above. lol.

These few days were pretty interesting, with the celebration of my friend's birthday, then accompanying a friend to purchase a gift for the birthday boy [belated present] the day after we celebrated. It all ended pretty late though, and I pretty much return home tired xD.

However, I'm beginning to feel something weird. Something I've actually rarely experienced in the past.

I'm like... beginning to hate school life? Not that I liked it in the first place, but I didn't have this feeling before. Now whenever I go college, I'm just rotting there, almost dying >_>. And most of the times I feel lethargic in class. Rare case! Let's hope this won't become detrimental. I need some motivation for studying in the holidays ._.

At the very least, it's only 7 school days left to the June holidays, which aren't really holidays, but at least I can rest at home. Or maybe rest is a wrong word, rot is a better one. Let's hope that isn't the case.

With so many things coming up, I'm praying I can cope. Obviously "praying" will never work. Getting down and suffering is the only way now.

I'll be back later with an interesting post. ;)

-signs off-

Extreme

Uhuhuhu, what does the title really mean?

Don't mistake it that I'm going to silly stuff or what not, of course. It's just I'm going to test my "personal extreme" - trying to sing a Jap song with almost 99% accuracy.

It's VERY tough, because it has some tongue twisting parts I'm still struggling to pronounce, but I have managed to get like 75% of it right. Just need to articulate it out correctly ._.

The tongue twisting parts kill! I need to take it slowly before I'll be able to sing this song perfectly. Maybe...2 months more? LOL! Let's hope it won't take that long.

Today was a great day, to celebrate one of my friend's [also classmate's] birthday! It was pretty hilarious, the procedure of getting him to the designated area to celebrate that is. We [those who went] had a really great time laughing and all though :O! It's rare [especially for me] to go out, but it's always nice to show appreciation to one who has been friends for 1years+ with you, no? =)

Anyway, happy 18th KJ! Hohoho! ONE MORE PERSON OLDER THAN ME~ YEAH! XD

[That's how I'm like every time someone celebrates his/her birthday earlier than mine x) - born in the same year obviously! Of course it's just a joke =x]

But anyway, extreme, eh? I'd figured there's too many extremes for me. Have to take things step by step.

Anyway, here's a nice music vid [pure music, no singing or whatnot] from the PS1 game - Final Fantasy VIII. For those FF fans I think this shouldn't be too foreign!

And also, there's a Final Fantasy concert held in the Esplanade coming Friday! I so want to watch it... Nobuo Uematsu [I hope I spelled it right] is going to be there too! Too bad I didn't buy the tickets =(

But anyway, here's the video, title completely related to my blog post's title - The Extreme.

It's when Squall meets up with Ultemicia in her castle and they engage in the final battle. Enjoy the music!

-signs off-

Distorted Reflections [V]

This post is dedicated to everyone who thinks I'm a mugger at home x).

So now, lots of my friends in school totally disbelieve me when I say this:

"I don't study at home one >_>. More of slack, use computer... do nothing."

And the reply goes "YA RIGHT!"

Of course they would say that xD. I don't look like the sort who just goes using the computer for the whole day on end and not study, but still get decent [not good] results.

In fact, what they see, is not what they know me to be! I am an avid computer user. By avid I mean using the computer on and on and on for hours non-stop without rest kind of thing.

What does this mean? It means I don't study... or even if I do, it's pretty much broken up into tiny chunks cause I keep getting distracted by the computer! [This gets my studying nowhere]

I think the best proof for this would be me being online the whole day after I reach home. Even if my mode is "away", it doesn't literally mean that. If you talk to me on MSN, 90% chance I'll reply. That's what happened, and is happening now anyway.

And here begins a short [PLEASE DEFINE SHORT!] story about me and my computer x).

Now, I got my computer at a pretty young age. I think when computers were first released, within the first year, I had my hands on one of them. Ever since then I've been using computers to do lots of things.

This may pretty much be why I have a computer addiction...

Yes, I do have a computer addiction -.-. Trust me people. I think this is pretty common in society currently.

The reason for computer addiction? Frequent usage of the computer, thanks to me playing LOTS of computer games. And I seriously mean lots. But I think 'lots' is a relative term for people.

I can play 'em from day till midnight, sleep, and play the next day I wake up. It's what people define as "no-lifer". I'm used to that term.

But just recently, it seems as though this addiction is... subsiding. It could be me, or it really is happening. Now my switching on of the computer is a habit, not an addiction.

The only reason I can find would be this: My avenues for gaming is nearly gone.

Previously, I played pretty much a wide variety of games in the same day. Maybe jumping around 4 MMORPGs within that 24 hours.

Then as time goes by, I kick off some of those I don't like, and I stuck to one - Grand Chase.

After that, the SEA server for Grand Chase shut down [refer to my 2nd blog post]. This meant that I literally had no games I was actively playing.

Of course, there were, and there still are, some MMORPGs that are in my computer, but I don't feel attached to them at all. The only thing I'm doing for now is Facebook gaming xD.

That is like, what? A few minutes of it only, then wasting lots of hours before returning back to do the same thing again. That's how I'm wasting time currently, which is why I feel TOTALLY bored for hours now.

Heck, with Grand Chase [GC] gone, it's like the attachment to the computer is gone. I want to do other things to fill my boredom. People suggest me some things.

But, I know that someday, when any other server opens up to Singapore players, I just may return [or 99% return, actually] to the game. It was a great game I liked, but until then, it's just complete boredom for me.

Understand now people? I'm not who you think I am. I don't mug, neither do I do intensive studying.

If I do, that's LOTS of self-control added on to me until I study, and study HARD. Like 8 hours non-stop. But that doesn't mean the computer isn't switched on =p. I have it on to listen to music for relaxation.

So, hope you guys understand me better from this. I am a gamer, not a 'studyer'. I slack, laze around whole day, not mug. Hope I got this area cleared up x).

Just in case, before you ask, no, I don't study during the weekends. In fact, I ain't currently! hahahaha! Weekends to me are perceived as slack days ;).

Oh and, it's not that I want to be a no-lifer, alright? It's that things in my life restrict what I desire in life. Once they are gone, I pretty much should be able to gain the life I want.

Of course, that includes kicking the habit of using my computer. I have to thank my eyes for being able to maintain near perfect eyesight for the years I've used the computer, until now. X_x I placed it under too much stress!

I'll be back sometime in future with another 'Reflections'. Lots of things to talk about.

-signs off-

Mini updates

Yeah, for those who look at my blog now and then, I think it's pretty obvious some additions came into the blog.

I just added the Cbox there, so feel free to chat with me ;) I think it's a much more convenient way for you guys to talk to me!

Other than that, I've learned how to do some color coding. LOL! It took me some time to find the colors that I was satisfied with for the chat box!

Hope it comes into use regularly =)

-signs off-

Goodbyes and Welcomes, Sickness and Recovery

I hope that my cough + flu is actually recovering, considering how well I felt in the morning, worse in the afternoon... probably even worse in the evening? >_> Let's just hope I recover soon. Sucks to fall ill.

Today... was a pretty interesting day. It was my [considerably] last day being in the Exco [executive committee] in my CCA, since it was time to pass it to the J1s. What seemed like an arduous process was... well, arduous. It really took some time to get everything done.

What was interesting though, was how I felt. At first I looked forward to the stepping down, considering how much extra time I would have from being free from CCA.

But, right after I dismissed our newly formed J1 Exco for the first time [which would be my last], it seems as if there's a feeling of unwillingness to give up my position to my "descendants". It was fun leading a group, hosting a meeting, even though it wasn't my style of leading.

"If a CCA can survive without you, you have not been a good leader." was what one teacher said during a camp last year. I heard it, and now I'm reflecting upon it. I wonder if the new batch can survive? I feel that it would be pretty much a big yes. In fact, I may have failed as a leader.

Won't go into details, but it feels as though I haven't contributed much to the CCA. It feels as if anyone could have done what I have done, speaking to a group of people. Seriously and critically speaking, I have not fared well.

What I have fared well in, though, is that I have learned to lighten up in things, and at the same time found many good friends that I doubt I will forget. They were my Exco mates, and have helped me lots along the way, even giving me guidance, criticisms, comments and such. I really appreciate it, and have slowly changed myself in the process.

So, this is it. It's sayonara to E-Club, with me now having another large burden off my chest. Although I haven't told everything I need to, to the new leader, I definitely will be able to before the next meeting x). Where I start, I end off. It's time to wave goodbye and hope that I have left some impact on the club itself.

Lastly, I'll definitely have to thank especially the following people: [warning - pretty long list!]
Kenneth T.
Amanda G.
Veron
Cynthia
Jin Hui
Kean Yong
Grace
Mei Xiu
Si Yun
Margaret
Charmaine
Wan Xuan
Bernice
See Hui
Mei Yen

...for making my life so enriching and fun! It was a great time having you guys around, sharing all the laughter we had. Any arguments we have is long gone, any happy moments shared stays in my heart. It's what's happy that we should remember, cause it keeps us going. Having such a fun group was really a big bonus I have had, and I cannot ask for more from you guys. Thank you =). Let's plan Exco / Affinity outing some time yeah? =D

Of course, I cannot forget the many other J2s which have made E-Club complete, making it a really fun experience to have, telling you guys what to do. Without you I wouldn't have been here. Thanks for sharing all these moments I've had with you! =)

Well, that ends my post. I wonder if anyone actually reads these much words. I'm a wordy guy, not that much pictures =p. Hope this changes slowly, though! Also, expect an interesting post coming up in a few days!

-signs off-

In Sickness and in Wealth [of germs]

Oh well, I was originally planning to some stuff, but I'll hold back for a day or two, until I find a suitable time where I won't collapse on my bed and take a nice 3 hours long... uh, nap. =)

Anyway, today's post is dedicated to sickness!

First, my ulcer came. It grew, and grew and...POP! Now it's shrinking, almost gone, but this is the first time an ulcer took so long to heal. I wonder what that means.

No time to rejoice though, for a sore throat came right when my ulcer was at it's peak. "Heatiness", some might call it. It sucks to have this rolling in slowly.

And I thought that filling my body up with lots of water would help to halt the sore throat from getting worse, but seems like it failed.

A cough developed a day after, first dry, now with disgusting phlegm. [want me to describe it? xD]

After that, a block nose, premonition of a flu came! And... it came >_>. Now I have a cough, plus a minor flu, PLUS a still recovering ulcer. Hope it doesn't get worse. Need to drink even more water now...

It's as if this sickness cycle just continues on and on... I can tell that the moment I recover, someone else will fall sick ._. anyone wants to be my "descendant"? LOL!

But anyway, does flu cause fever, or does fever cause flu? Or does it work either way? How 'bout cough? What does cough actually cause after that? It's as if we're in a chain of sickness just waiting to burst out.

I really shouldn't be awake this late [considering I'm sick, 12am is late], but I need to rush out some homework for lesson! Damn! Shouldn't have taken my evening nap just now. Now I'm regretting it.

-Hopes for a speedy recovery-

-signs off-

Bored...

Bored..

Bored...

Bored........

SERIOUSLY BORED!

Or maybe it's cause I haven't been placing my heart into doing homework? x)

I'll need to get moving quick, holidays in 3 weeks but it's no time to rest... exams right after the holidays.

I wonder what's with all these "boredom" that I've felt these few days? Like when I return home and I feel as if there's totally nothing to do already [other than Facebooking and all]

Is this a hint to me? I have a good feeling it is, but just can't confirm it.

With 4 days till the Parent's meeting, I wonder what my CT (civics tutor) will be saying to my pa? hmm.....

Anyway, I just noticed that my font for the post on Namida was... weird =x. Must have been due to the Japanese lyrics. I'll improve from that though! If I don't try, I will never know...

Oh well, I'll post again tomorrow. Some stuff to think through before I post.

-signs off-

Random Rant

Don't you hate it when you have ulcers? Especially when they're huge, painful, and hard to reach? >_>.

Been struggling with this idiot ulcer behind my gum for a few days now. I thought it was shrinking, well at least that's what I thought, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

Let's just hope it explodes or something yeah? The ulcer has grown until it's size is about the length of 2 front teeth (lower jaw) put together. Damn it!

Would love to use salt water to get this done once and for all, but... after a really freaky experience when I was young with ulcer + salt water, I think that would really be my last resort.

I think I need rest to get this thing out of my gum >_>. And a sore throat is settling in. I'm eating too unhealthily! Too much spicy and fried food o.o!

Oh well, happy that it's the holidays though ;D Vesak Day in just 10 minutes, and a school-designated holiday on Monday! Woohoo! Good for me to rest, and to catch up on lots of things in my life...

-signs off-

涙

Finally been able to post again after being away from my computer for some time. Long days really suck, don't they?

Anyway, today I just wanted to post a video, plus it's lyrics. Credits all at the bottom.

This song can relate to what happens when setback happens, especially from some stuff that occurred to me these few days. Sometimes, you just get tired of what you're doing. Sometimes, you'll just breakdown from all the nutty things in life happening to you. Not that I've broken down, but I really like this song.

The song's title is Namida, also the first ending song from Skip Beat!

For those people who don't watch anime, just enjoy the music =).

So here we go! 涙 by 2BACKKA! It took me really some time to get up all these lyrics and stuff. Lots of problems cropped up when I was doing this.

Namida means tears, for those who haven't realized it through the translations. Enjoy!



僕ら何千回　泣いても　きっともう一回乗り越える
bokura nanzenkai  naite mo  kitto mou ikkai  norikoeru
No matter how many thousands of times we cry, surely we can overcome it one more time

不器用なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
bukiyou na FURIshite  nigecha damedarou
You can't act like you're clumsy and run away

そんなことくらい　わかるだろう
sonna kotokurai  wakaru darou
You should know that much

今が最終回　最後のチャンス　失敗したって恐くない
ima ga saishukai   saigo no CHANSU   shippai shitatte  kowakunai
This is the last time, the last chance, and even if I mess up I won't be scared

悲しさも　せつなさも　愛しさも　いつか癒せるさ
kanashisa mo  setsunasa mo  itoshisa mo  itsuka iyaserusa
The sorrow, the sadness, the longing - they can all be healed someday


泣いて泣いて泣いた日々を背に　僕らもう一回強くなれ
naite naite naita  hibi wo se ni  bokura mou ikkai  tsuyoku nare
When the days we cried and cried are behind us, we can be strong one more time

臆病なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
okubyou na FURIshite  nigecha damedarou
You can't act like a coward and run away

そんなことくらい　わかるだろう
sonna koto  kurai wakarudarou
You should know that much

きっと何万回　倒れても　きっともう一回　乗り越える
kitto nanmankai  taorete mo  kitto mou ikkai  norikoeru
No matter how many thousands of times we fall, surely we can overcome it one more time

君の声　届くだろう　どこまでも　ずっと　まっすぐに
kimi no koe  todokudarou  doko made mo  zutto massugu ni
I'm sure your voice will reach me over any distance, straight to me, forever...


思いどおりには　いかない日々
omoi doori ni wa  ikanai hibi
The days when things don't go as planned

意気がることで　ごまかした気持ち
ikigaru koto de  gomakashita kimochi
The feelings I deceived by acting strong

何かが壊れそうで　涙があふれそうで
nani kaga kowaresou de  namida ga afuresou de
It feels like something's about to break, like tears are about to fall

素直になることができず
sunao ni naru koto ga dekizu
Unable to be honest

素顔になることができず
sugao ni naru koto ga dekizu
Unable to be myself

逃げ出すことばかりじゃ
nigedasu koto bakarijya
If all I ever do is run away

想いは　いつまでも届かない
omoi wa  itsumademo todokanai
My feelings will never be known

描いたゴールに立ち向かっていくんだ
egaita GOURU ni tachi mukatte ikunda
I have to face the goal I've set

雨風受けても立ち向かっていくんだ
ame kaze ukete mo tachi mukatte ikunda
Even if I'm pounded by wind and rain, I have to face it

あれよ　あれよと　時は過ぎてく
areyo  areyoto  toki wa sugiteku
Before I know it, time is passing me by

だけど　誰もが　きっと強くなる
dakedo  dare mo ga  kitto tsuyokunaru
But everyone, no matter who, can surely grow stronger

ごまかした気持ちのままじゃ　押し殺した日々じゃダメだ
gomakashita kimochi no mamajya  oshi koroshita hibi jya dame da
I can't keep deceiving my feelings and smashing them down every day

一度きりの人生の　階段を　今　登る
ichidokiri no jinsei no  kaidan wo  ima  noboru
Now is the time to climb the stairway of my one and only life


僕ら何千回　泣いても　きっともう一回乗り越える
bokura nanzenkai  naite mo  kitto mou ikkai  norikoeru
No matter how many thousands of times we cry, surely we can overcome it one more time

不器用なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
bukiyou na FURIshite  nigecha damedarou
You can't act like you're clumsy and run away

そんなことくらい　わかるだろう
sonna kotokurai  wakaru darou
You should know that much

今が最終回　最後のチャンス　失敗したって恐くない
ima ga saishukai   saigo no CHANSU   shippai shitatte  kowakunai
This is the last time, the last chance, and even if I mess up I won't be scared

悲しさも　せつなさも　愛しさも　いつか癒せるさ
kanashisa mo  setsunasa mo  itoshisa mo  itsuka iyaserusa
The sorrow, the sadness, the longing - they can all be healed someday


届きそうで　届かないよ
todokisou de  todokanai yo
It feels like I can reach it, but I can't

掴めそうで　掴めないよ
tsukamesou de  tsukamenai yo
It feels like I can grasp it, but I can't

いつもの　いくつもの臆病が　僕の腕を引っ張る
itsumo no  ikutsumo no okubyou ga  boku no ude wo hipparu
The same old fears, so many fears, are holding me back by the arm

離してよもう行くよここじゃない　今からでも遅くない
hanashiteyo mou yukuyo koko jyanai  imakara demo osokunai
Let go of me, I have to go, this isn't my place, if I leave now it won't be too late

僕の頬をつたう　涙はこれで最後と決めた
boku no hoo wo tsutau  namida wa kore de saigo to kimeta
I've decided that the tears trailing down my cheeks will be my last


まだ終わってない　終わっちゃいない
mada owattenai  owacchainai
It's not over yet, nothing has ended

何もまだ始まっちゃいない
nani mo mada hajimachainai
Nothing has started yet

答えはまだ　出しきっちゃいない　まだ諦めてない
kotae wa mada  dashikicchainai  mada akirametenai
I haven't finished giving my answer yet, I haven't given up yet

僕が僕でいることの意味も訳も　喜びも味わっていない
boku ga boku de irukoto no imi mo wake mo  yorokubi mo ajiwatteinai
I haven't experienced the joy of knowing the meaning, the reason that I am who I am

一人でもう立ってる　僕だけの明日が待っている
hitori de mou tatteru  boku dake no ashita ga matteiru
I'm already standing by myself, my own tomorrow is waiting


涙ふいて　顔を上げて　ここからって　空見上げて
namida fuite  kao wo agete  koko karatte  sora miagete
Wipe your tears, lift your face, say this is the beginning and look up at the sky

君笑って　手を伸ばして
kimi waratte  te wo nobashite
Smile and stretch out your hand

一つの想いへ辿り着くまで
hitotsu no omoi he tadori tsuku made
Until we arrive at the same feeling


季節外れの　風が吹く
kisetsu hazure no  kaze ga fuku
An unseasonal wind blows

本当の気持ちに背を向けて
honto no kimochi ni se wo mukete
Rather than living with my back turned on my true feelings

行きていくよりは多分いいよね　目指したあの場所へ
ikite iku yori wa tabun ii yo ne  mezashita ano basho he
It's probably better to head for the place I was striving for, right?


僕ら何千回　泣いても　きっともう一回乗り越える
bokura nanzenkai  naite mo  kitto mou ikkai  norikoeru
No matter how many thousands of times we cry, surely we can overcome it one more time

不器用なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
bukiyou na FURIshite  nigecha damedarou
You can't act like you're clumsy and run away

そんなことくらい　わかるだろう
sonna kotokurai  wakaru darou
You should know that much

今が最終回　最後のチャンス　失敗したって恐くない
ima ga saishukai   saigo no CHANSU   shippai shitatte  kowakunai
This is the last time, the last chance, and even if I mess up I won't be scared

悲しさも　せつなさも　愛しさも　いつか癒せるさ
kanashisa mo  setsunasa mo  itoshisa mo  itsuka iyaserusa
The sorrow, the sadness, the longing - they can all be healed someday


泣いて泣いて泣いた日々を背に　僕らもう一回強くなれ
naite naite naita  hibi wo se ni  bokura mou ikkai  tsuyoku nare
When the days we cried and cried are behind us, we can be strong one more time

臆病なフリして　逃げちゃだめだろう
okubyou na FURIshite  nigecha damedarou
You can't act like a coward and run away

そんなことくらい　わかるだろう
sonna koto  kurai wakarudarou
You should know that much

きっと何万回　倒れても　きっともう一回　乗り越える
kitto nanmankai  taorete mo  kitto mou ikkai  norikoeru
No matter how many thousands of times we fall, surely we can overcome it one more time

君の声　届くだろう　どこまでも　ずっと　まっすぐに
kimi no koe  todokudarou  doko made mo  zutto massugu ni
I'm sure your voice will reach me over any distance, straight to me, forever...


Kanji lyrics and Romaji lyrics credits to http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/skipbeat/namida.htm
English Translation credits to http://taijiproject.livejournal.com/81715.html
Youtube Video credits to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3z3E0S49CM and the user who uploaded it, snsninja

Midnight Post

Ah... just before I go off to bed, I think I'll post this.

Weird that my apostrophe works sometimes and just screws up in other occasions. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about.

Today was Chemistry SPA (practical assessment), the last of the series of 4 papers that I've sat. It's like another heavy burden off me. First H3, then SPA, next will be my stepping down from CCA. Dammit! I can't wait!

But anyway, I think that SPA had slaughtered a few people, and some being my classmates. Of course, I obviously don't want to talk about how sad they were and all, but it's just something small I wanted to share.

Life... is interesting. It first puts you sliding down a snow hill on a sledge, allowing you to enjoy yourself. The next split second, you notice that a huge tree is right in front of you, and you slam into it.

But of course, what's important is how you pick yourself up from there. Sure you can't chop off the tree, but you can always learn from it and next time sledge more carefully.

Don't get what I mean? In short: life is full of ups and downs. One moment you may be at your peak, the other, you may just be falling into burning pits. It's how you will experience life, but what's important is what you learn from it. Sure you can't make changes to some mistakes that has already been done, but always be optimistic, cause you don't know when your next peak is coming.

Just like me, the SPA felt like my peak, but my Econs Case Study test (later in the afternoon) may be a pitfall for me. What's important to me now is to look forward, be optimistic in whatever I do, and just stay happy. What's life without happiness, eh?

Seems like a rant, sorry if it did. I also apologize if this post actually offended anyone... I really hope not.

I think some experiences I've had in life has just made me change the way I view things. Or maybe it's just in my genes ;). See you guys soon!

-signs off-

...I'm pretty noob at this >_>

I was planning to upload a music playlist, but noticed a few problems...

1) The music only played for 30seconds

2) I couldn't change the background color of my playlist

and most importantly

3) I didn't know how to transfer my own playlist into my blog -.-!

Oh well, guess I'll just leave it at this. You guys don't like to have auto playing music, right? I'm still trying to find a way to get a music playlist uploaded that doesn't auto play...

Someone, help me! ._. If you can that is! Thanks lots ;)

-signs off-